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interrupting cow
 
 
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow w--MOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
the frugal clerk
 
 
A secretary goes to the company stockroom and requisitions a box of pens. The clerk fumbles around for a bit and then hands her a box of ballpoints. The secretary returns to her desk, takes out a new pen and begins to write. The pen skips and then stops giving out any ink. Frustrated, she tries another pen and then another and another. None of them work. Returning to the stockroom, she slams down the box of defective pens and demands, "Why did you give me a box of pens that don't work?" The clerk answers, "Well, somebody has to use them!"
thin books
 
 
World's thinnest books 20. BEAUTY SECRETS by Janet Reno 19. HOME BUILT AIRPLANES by John Denver 18. HOW TO GET TO THE SUPER BOWL by Dan Marino 17. THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL by Hillary Clinton 16. MY LIFE'S MEMORIES by Ronald Reagan 15. THINGS I CAN'T AFFORD by Bill Gates 14. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman 13. THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore 12. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN 11. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS 10. DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE 9. DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES 8. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN 7. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN 6. ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres 5. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE 4. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the EPA 3. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY 2. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson And the World's Number One Shortest book... 1. MY BOOK OF MORALS - by Bill Clinton
night of the living dead
 
 
An elderly couple are watching the 700 Club. The evangelist is getting really worked up, and it's soon time for the healing portion of the show.

"If you believe in the healing power of the Lord, place on hand on the television, and one hand on the part of your body that ails you!" The old man places one hand on the television and one hand on his groin.

"Oh, don't be stupid!" says the old woman. "He said heal, not raise the dead!"


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