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the secret of speed
 
 
Plane: How do you fly so fast?

Rocket: You'll know when your ass is on fire!
culture shock
 
 
Two immigrants arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between the Old Country and the U.S. One of them says that he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"What part did you get?"
helping the pope with his holy crossword
 
 
A gentleman is sitting next to the Pope on an airplane. He sees that the Pope is doing a crossword puzzle. He thinks to himself, "I love doing crossword puzzles. I hope he will ask me for help."

Time passes, and the Pope says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know a four-letter word that describes a woman and ends in 'unt'?"

The gentleman thinks about this and was about to answer when he realized he couldn't say something like that to the Pope. He thinks a while longer and finally says, "I believe the word you're looking for is 'aunt'."

The Pope replies, "Oh, you're right. That fits too. Would you happen to have an eraser?"

baby, this is the best line ever
 
 
Let's go to my place and play war -- I'll lay down and you blow the hell outta me!

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