Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » humor 235

Whatever


wedding hells
 
 
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

"Quiet!" snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say,"

"And I said be quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you, the chief's at his daughter's wedding so he'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the guy in the cell. "I'm the groom."

fast food for rednecks
 
 
You might be a redneck if you think fast food is hitting a deer at 60 miles an hour.
titillating
 
 
Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, her husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds." Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks. "They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?" Without missing a beat the husband says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
inside out
 
 
Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?

A: BMW's have the pricks on the inside.


Page 236 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»