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a road trip to yo mama
 
 
Yo mama so fat, it took 1 train 4cars and 7 buses to get on her good side.
cat hating husband
 
 
A man hated his wife's cat and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the cat there. The cat was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home.

The next day, he decided to drop the cat 40 blocks away but the same thing happened.

He kept on increasing the number of blocks but the cat kept on coming home before him. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the cat there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife. Frustrated the man said, "Put that cat on the phone, I'm lost and I need directions."

saddam hussein & his chauffeur were driving ...
 
 
Saddam Hussein & his chauffeur were driving down the highway when suddenly they hit a pig crossing the road, killing it instantly. Saddam tells his driver "Go to the farm over there & explain to the owner of the pig what happened."

One hour later, Saddam sees his driver coming back from the farm. His clothes all wrinkled, a bottle of wine in one hand & a cigar in the other. "What happened to you?", inquires Saddam.

"Well," replies the driver, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife the bottle of wine & their 19-year-old daughter made wild, passionate love to me!"

"My God, what did you tell them?" demands the dictator.

The chauffeur responds; "Good evening. I am Saddam Husseins chauffeur & I have just killed the pig."

one night, george w. bush is tossing restlessly
 
 
One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him. Bush asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, then fades away.

The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom.

Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight.

The third night sleep is still not in the cards for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of F. D. R. hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mists.

Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now, to help the country?" Bush pleads.

Abe replies, "My advice is, do something relaxing. Go see a play!"


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