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i'm a photographer, not a...
 
 
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "And make several low-level passes."

"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!"

The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

stupid grandpa. don't you get it?
 
 
A grandpa walks into a grandson's apartment and sees a condom on the table. "What's this!?" demands the grandfather.

"It's a condom," replies the grandson sheepishly.

"What do you use it for?" asks Gramps.

The grandson is surprised that his grandpa really doesn't know what a condom is, and replies, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain."

To his surprise his grandpa says, "That's a great idea," and goes off to the drug store. He asks the pharmacist for a condom.

"What size would you like?" asks the pharmacist.

"Oh, big enough to fit a camel."

man walks into a lawyer's office...
 
 
A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the rates.

“Fifty dollars for three questions, ” replied the lawyer.

“Isn't that awfully steep?” asked the man.

“Yes,” the lawyer replied, “and what was your third question?”

engineer's belief
 
 
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.


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