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little green balls
 
 
What do you have when you have two green balls in your hand?

Kermit's undivided attention.

the offspring
 
 
A birch and a beech tree grow up side by side in the forest. One day, a sapling grows between them, and each swears that it's not their son. The beech thinks it's a son-of-a-birch, and the birch thinks it's a son-of-a-beech. To settle it, they enlist the help of a woodpecker, who checks it out.

"You are both wrong," he says when he comes back up. "That's the best piece of ash I've ever had my pecker in."

knights and birth control limerick
 
 
In days of old, when knights were bold,
And condoms weren't invented,
They wrapped their socks
Around their cocks,
And babies were prevented!
heading for trouble
 
 
A guy and his son go into a bar. The son is a miracle of nature and is just a head. The man asks the bartender for two shots. The man takes one shot and gives the other one to his son. The son swallows down the drink and out pops an arm.

The man thought, "Hey this is good."

So he asks for two more shots. He drinks one and gives the other to his son again, and out pops another arm.

The man the asks for a double and gives it to his son. The son throws it down and suddenly explodes.

The bartender looks over at the man and says, "Looks like he should have quit while he was ahead."


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