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juicy squirt
 
 
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

ready, aim...
 
 
A Vicar and his friend, Colin were playing golf.

Colin misses a 3 foot putt and yells, "Goddamn it, missed the bugger!" and the vicar says, "If you keep saying that then God will punish you."

Next hole Colin misses a 2 foot putt and says "Goddamn it, missed the bugger!" and the vicar says, "ONE more time Colin, and God will punish you!"

Then Colin misses a one foot putt and "GOD DAMN IT!!!MISSED THE BUGGER!"

Suddenly clouds form overhead. God comes down from Heaven and strikes the Vicar dead with a bolt of thunder.

God says, "Goddamn it! Missed the bugger!"

skip to my fool
 
 
One day, a blonde was skipping on some train tracks singing "21, 21, 21, 21,...'

Along came a blonde who thought it looked like fun.

So she joined in and started singing "21, 21, 21, 21," and then a train came.

The brunette jumped off the tracks but the train ran over the blonde.

The brunette got back on the train tracks and started singing "22, 22, 22, 22,..."

george bush , saddam hussein and general ...
 
 
George Bush, Saddam Hussein and General Cosgrove were all walking along a beach together after a peace talk , when they spotted an empty champagne bottle lying in the sand . They popped it open, and a Genie materialised before them , announcing, "You have two wishes each."

First , George Bush said , "I wish I had an army of a million tanks to wipe out Saddam Hussein's army and free the people of Iraq! I also wish I had a fleet of a million oil tankers , to take his oil supplies when I'm done !"

The Genie granted the Chief Executive his wish .

"Ha !" Saddam retorted . "You won't defeat me so easily ! I wish there was an impregnable wall around all of Iraq , so no Iranians , Israelis or infidel Westerners may enter ! I also wish to be transported safely back to my palace in Baghdad !"

And with that , the Genie did his bidding , and Saddam vanished in a puff of smoke .

This left only General Cosgrove .

"Well , first of all ," said the good General ,"tell me about this wall ."

"Well , it's higher than any aeroplane can fly and thicker than any explosive can penetrate ," replied the Genie . "There are no entrances or exits . Basically , nothing can get in or out ."

"Right ," replied Cosgrove . "Fill it with water ."


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