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incredible confession
 
 
The privacy partition in the confessional booth slides and an excited voice bursts through the screen: "Father, I gotta tell you what happened to me last night. I'm 90 years old, and I made love to two 18 year old women for eight hours last night!"
The stunned priest, replies incredulously, "you did WHAT!"
"I said, I'm 90 years old, and I made love to two eighteen year old women last night for eight hours."
The stern father replies, "boy, I've been waiting all my life for a guy like you. I'm gonna give you a penance like you'll never forget."
To which the voice replies, "Father, you can't give me a penance."
"Why not?" asks the man of the cloth.
"Because I'm Jewish," claims the voice.
The perplexed Father asks, "then why are you telling me?"
"I'm telling everyone!"
i didn't do it!
 
 
Two robbers are talking in their shared jail cell:

'What are you in for?'

'I'm here for something I did not do!'

'So you are innocent? What did you do?'

'I did not run fast enough!'
mixed breed
 
 
What do you get if you breed a pitbull terrier with Lassie?

A dog that will chew your arm off but then run for help!

tarzan's last words
 
 
Q: What were Tarzan's last words?

A: Who greased the viiiiiiiine?


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