Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » humor 259

Whatever


what's it doing in the tree?
 
 
What's white and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you?

A fridge!
risky high seas adventure
 
 
There was this couple that had twins and they couldn't decide what to name them. When they were teenagers, the dad noticed that one of them always looked towards the sea and the other looked away, so he decided to call them Towards and Away.
Then, one day, the dad decides to take the twins on a trip out to sea to go fishing. Months pass, then years. Finally, the dad comes back looking tired.
The mom asks him what happened and he said that all three of them were fishing one day and Towards had caught a hold of a big fish on his rod. Since the fish was so strong, it carried Towards away.
The mom said, 'Oh, what a horrible, cruel fish!'
The dad said, 'Yeah, you should've seen the one that got Away.'
what's oj got?
 
 
What does OJ have that every man wants?

A Heisman trophy and a dead ex-wife!

widow for one year
 
 
One day three women were at a beauty parlor talking about their husbands. The first woman says, 'Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn't there!'

'I know!' the next woman says, 'Last night my husband said he was going to his brother's house but when I called he wasn't there.'

The third woman says, 'I always know where my husband is.'

'Impossible!' both women say, 'He has you completely fooled!'

'Oh no,' says the woman. 'I'm a widow.'

Page 260 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»