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heal the world
 
 
A man dies and goes to Heaven. When he arrives he sees that there is a long line to the Pearly Gates. After some time he hears a commotion behind him and turns to see a man in a long white coat with a stethoscope in the pocket cutting past everone. He strides right through the gates without a pause and past everyone who had been waiting forever. When the man gets to St. Peter he says, "Say, who was that guy who cut past everybody and walked right through?" St. Peter replied, "Oh. That's God. Sometimes he likes to think he's a doctor."
move out of my space!
 
 
There were three astronauts an American, a Russian, and a Pollock who were discussing who had the best space program. The Russian says, "We have the best space program. We were the first country to put a satellite into orbit." The American replies, "Thats nothing, we put the first man on the moon." Then the man Pollock says, "No, we are the best, we are going to put the first man on the sun." The Russian and the American arguedm, "Thats not possible you would burn." The Pollock explains, "No, no, we have it all planned out. See we will go at night!"
black sheep
 
 
A tribal leader finds that his wife has had a white baby. Enraged, he brings the baby to the missionary at the tribe and says, "You are the only white man to inhabit our land. Explain to me how my baby is white." Terrified, missionary responds, "Now, now..please do not make any hasty assumptions. Look at those white sheep over there? Among them there is one black one. There is no explanation as to how it got that color and is just a miracle of nature." The tribe leader pauses for a second, then says, "I apologize, sir. I understand you well and clear. I'll keep quiet about the baby if you keep quiet about the sheep."
4th and goal
 
 
Q:What's funnier than kicking a zombie baby wide left from the 10 yard line?

A: Running it in for a touchdown and spiking it in the ground only to have it stand up and chase after you with grass in its mouth, making donkey noises.


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