Whatever jokes

1. Women got off the Titanic first.
2. Women can scare bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Women can be groupies. Men groupies are called "stalkers."
4. Women can cry and get off speeding tickets.
5. Taxis stop for women.
6. Free dinners, free drinks, free movies. Do the math.
7. A new lipstick can give a woman a whole new lease on life.
8. No one has to know if a woman forgets to shave.
9. Women can congratulate their teammates without ever touching their rear.
10. Women never regret piercing their ears.

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."

When they got to the doctor's office, the man lifted his wife's coat to show him their predicament. The man asked, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"

"Well, yes," the doctor replied, "but never framed."