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six and five
 
 
What has six boobs and five teeth?

The night shift at Waffle House.
bill gates, super ego
 
 
One day, Saint Peter called up to Heaven Bill Clinton, Colin Powell, and Bill Gates. He said to them, 'I've called you here because you are the 3 most influential spokepersons in the world. Go back to Earth and tell everyone there is a God, but he's blowing up the world tommorrow.'

So, Bill Clinton went back and said, 'Fellow Americans, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is there is a God, and the bad news is he's blowing up the world tommorrow.'

Colin Powell went back and said, 'I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is there is a God and the good news is he's blowing up the world tommorrow.'

Then, Bill Gates went down, gathered up all his computer buddies on the Internet and said, ' I have some good news. The first part of the good news is I've been voted one of the 3 most influential spokespersons in the world. The other good news is the Y2K problem is solved.'

lightbulb... actors
 
 
How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

30 -- one to screw in the light bulb and 29 other actors to watch him and say, 'I could've done it better.'

prison vs. work
 
 
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.

In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.

In prison you get time off for good behavior. At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you are just ball-and-chained.

In prison you get your own loot. At work you have to share.

In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.

At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.

In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work there are some programs you can never get out of.

In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic. At work we have managers.


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