Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » humor 396

Whatever


sexually exhausted jock
 
 
At a high school an English teacher is busy with work as a student approaches the teacher and asks when the test final test will be. She tells the whole class and a smart-ass jock raises his hand.

"What if that day I just stayed home because I was sexually exahausted?'

'Well, I guess you'd just have to use your other hand to write with.'

you know you drink too much coffee when...
 
 
  1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.
  2. You chew on your roommate's fingernails.
  3. You can jump-start your car without cables.
  4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
  5. You can't remember your second cup.
  6. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
  7. Starbucks has a mortgage on your house.
  8. Your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.
  9. You don't sweat - you percolate.
  10. You grind coffee beans in your mouth.
muffin diver
 
 
There were two muffins sitting in an oven. The first muffin looked at the second muffin and said, 'Man, it's getting hot in here!' Then the second muffinlooked at the first muffin.

'Oh, my God! A talking muffin!'
something borrowed, something blew
 
 
A groom passes down the aisle of the church to take his place by the altar and the best man notices that the groom has the biggest, brightest smile on his face.

The best man says, 'Hey man, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up - you look so excited.'

The groom replies, 'I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me.'

The bride comes walking down the aisle and she, too, has the biggest, brightest smile on her face.

The maid of honor notices this and says, 'Hey, girlfriend, I know you are happy to be getting married, but what's up, you look so excited.'

The bride replies 'I have just given the last blow job of my entire life.'


Page 397 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»