Whatever jokes

Along came a blonde who thought it looked like fun.

So she joined in and started singing "21, 21, 21, 21," and then a train came.

The brunette jumped off the tracks but the train ran over the blonde.

The brunette got back on the train tracks and started singing "22, 22, 22, 22,..."

First , George Bush said , "I wish I had an army of a million tanks to wipe out Saddam Hussein's army and free the people of Iraq! I also wish I had a fleet of a million oil tankers , to take his oil supplies when I'm done !"

The Genie granted the Chief Executive his wish .

"Ha !" Saddam retorted . "You won't defeat me so easily ! I wish there was an impregnable wall around all of Iraq , so no Iranians , Israelis or infidel Westerners may enter ! I also wish to be transported safely back to my palace in Baghdad !"

And with that , the Genie did his bidding , and Saddam vanished in a puff of smoke .

This left only General Cosgrove .

"Well , first of all ," said the good General ,"tell me about this wall ."

"Well , it's higher than any aeroplane can fly and thicker than any explosive can penetrate ," replied the Genie . "There are no entrances or exits . Basically , nothing can get in or out ."

"Right ," replied Cosgrove . "Fill it with water ."

"No! I'm just resting!" said the drunk man in a lazy voice.

"Oh, is that so? Well, if your not drunk, what time is it?"

The drunk man raised his arm, as if to point at something, and raised the other arm to cross the first arm over and said, "It's 12:43!"

"Amazing!" said the policeman. "How did you do that?"

"Hee hee, magic!" he said in a drunk voice. The policeman was puzzled and asked the drunk man again how he did it.

"Oh ok! Don't push me!" he said. "I'll tell you how I did it only if you sit with me in this puddle."

" What? No, I'm not sitting in that puddle." said the policeman.

" OK, then you will not learn my secret."

So the policeman stepped in the puddle, and sat down near the drunk man. "OK, I'm in the puddle, now tell me

"Well, turn to face that way, and look at that very large building," He pointed, " Do you see it?"

"Ya I see it, so what?" Said the policeman.
"Well, then I bet that you see that the building is Big Ben."

The first nun says "I want to be Bo Derek," and POOF she's gone.

The second says "I want to be Madonna," and POOF she's gone.

The third says "I want to be Virginia Pepalini.".

St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Virginia Pepalini" replies the nun.

St Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell.

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing.

He hands it back to her and says "No Sister, this says the Virginia Pipeline was laid by 500 men in 7 days!".