SOCIABLE : Joins friends in pissing whether he has to or not
CROSS-EYED : Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed
TIMID : Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal and comes back later
INDIFFERENT : If all urinals being used, pisses in sink
CLEVER : No hands, fixes tie, looks around and pisses on floor
WORRIED : Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection
FRIVOLOUS : Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit fly or bug
ABSENT MINDED : Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants
CHILDISH : Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble
TOUGH : Bangs penis on side of urinal to dry it
PATIENT : Stands very close for a long time waiting, lets it drip dry, reads with other hand
EFFICIENT : Waits until he has to crap, then does both
DRUNK : Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants
DISGRUNTED : Stands for a while, gives up, walks away
CONCEITED : Holds two inch penis like a baseball bat
DESPERATE : Waits in long line, teeth clenched, pisses in pants
SNEAK : Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone
to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
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