Whatever jokes

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Whatever


ring my bell
 
 
The bell-ringer for the church had just passed away, so the priest was looking for someone new to ring the bell. Then one day this man comes out of nowhere and starts banging on the door. The priest opens the door and sees that the man has no arms. The priest asks him, "How can you ring the bell?" The man said, "Let me show you." They went up to the bell and the man started hitting the bell with his head. The bell starts to swaying and the man misses, then he goes flying through the window. Two more priests come running and ask, "What happened? Who was that?" The second man said, "I don't know but that face sure rings a bell."
unleaded, please
 
 
A woman at a gas station noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it. The woman noticed the letters 'U.F.O.' printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked 'Does U.F.O. stand for Unidentified Flying Object?'
The alien answered, 'No, it stands for Unleaded Fuel Only!'
jack and jill
 
 
Jack and Jill went up a hill to have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
vegetarian
 
 
Man visits doctor with apple stuck in mouth, celery stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles ' Doc, I'm just not feeling well.' Doctor replies, 'Maybe you're not eating right.'

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