Whatever jokes

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Whatever


you know you're really fat when
 
 
You get kicked out of all-you-can-eat restaurants.
say cheese
 
 
What's the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles.

Why?

Because there's a mile between the first and last letters.

what is lxix?
 
 
What is LXIX?

69, the hard way.

c-ing i dog
 
 
Two guys were walking their dogs and came across a bar. Since they were hot and tired from walking the dogs they decided to go in and have a drink. Unfortunately, the bar didn't allow dogs. There was no place to safely secure the dogs, so they started thinking of ideas to get in the bar. Then one of the guys had an idea.

"Just watch me and follow my lead," he said.

He walked into the bar with his dog and the bartender stopped and said to him, "I'm sorry but I can't let you in here."

The guy looked at the bartender and asked, "Why not?"

The bartender replied, "Well, we don't allow dogs into the bar."

"But this is my seeing eye dog," the guy said.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir come on in, and by the way, nice golden retriever."

The guy went into the bar and the second guy walked in with his dog. The bartender stopped him and told him he can't let him in. When asked why not the bartender replied that you cannot have dogs in his bar.

"But this is my seeing eye dog," said the second guy.

The bartender looked at the man and then looked at the dog. After a while he said, "Sir, ah... um... a Chihuahua?"

The man looked a little puzzled and then said, "What? They gave me a Chihuahua?"


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